Recovery
by the.ways.we.lie
Summary: o3. She's not quite sure why she's still hanging on to someone who will never, ever love her back the same way she does. 一 It's not so much of a recovery for Sasuke as it is for Sakura. [sasusaku, post-canon]
1. never

note: not mah first sasusaku, but first in a while. this is a five chapter fic, it's after the war and stuffs.

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Recovery

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o1. never

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Sakura tries not to expect much from the raven haired male. He is not in love with her, or really much of _anything _with her, but she still wants something in return for her constant care of him, but she pushes her silly feelings away.

"Sasuke-kun. I'm making lunch, okay?" she calls out, after opening the door to his house.

She hears a faint "hn" from across the house. She walks to the kitchen, setting a bag down with food in it. She still loves Sasuke, but she tells herself it's that older sister kinda way, the way in which he's someone, _something _really, to be taken care of. Almost a bother.

But Sasuke is a bother and so much much more, she muses.

Brushing a couple strands of pink hair from her eyes, Sakura takes out some rice and tuna and begins molding some rice balls.

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"Here. They're filled with tuna. Your favorite." she says, handing him a plate with 3 balls on them.

"Hn." he grunts, looking out the window.

"Itadakimasu." she mumbles, taking a bite of the onigiri herself. She looks at where Sasuke's staring. "Sasuke. I know the rest of your compound hasn't been...rebuilt yet, but they'll get to it soon." she says.

"No. They won't." states Sasuke, taking one of the onigiri and taking his own bite out of it.

Sakura tilts her head a bit, and asks, "And why do you think this? This was at the top of your list of conditions to you staying in Konoha."

Sasuke shakes his head a little, and says, "Council may rebuild my home just to have somewhere for me to stay, but there's no way they're gonna allocate funds for rebuilding my entire compound just for me."

Sakura sighs, defeated. His reasoning is sound, now that she thinks about it, and once again, he's right. Again.

"I'll go ask Tsunade-sama about it."

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"Here are the medical files for this week, Tsunade-sama." says Sakura, her tone hesistant and anxious. "Thank you, Sakura." responds Tsunade, signing her name off on mission assignments, not sparing a glance at the pink-haired teen.

Sakura waits patiently.

Tsunade notices, and says, "You are dismissed, Sakura."

Sakura speaks up, "Sasuke-kun has a questi-" She stops herself, looking for the right words. The mention of the Uchiha perks Tsunade's attention. "Sasuke has what?" she asks, her tone a little more impatient.

"Sasuke-kun is wondering, well, he thinks that the Council won't allocate funds to rebuild the rest of his compound."

Tsunade has a hint of a smirk on his face. "The boy is goddamned right. The elders don't want jack-shit coming to him. I'm not personally trying so hard to get funds allocated to his wishes either, considering they could be put to better uses. Such as, for example, the hospital."

Sakura nods, and makes her way out to the door.

Her hand is on the knob when Tsunade says, "He can take care of himself, you know." Sakura gulps something hard down her throat, and replies, "I know. But I-" Tsunade interupts, "I know. Just...take care of yourself first."

Sakura nods her head again, and says, "Yes, Tsunade-sama."

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It is late when she gets off her last hospital shift. The night markets around Konoha are starting up, and she's quickly buying ingredients for dinner. On the walk back to Sasuke's house, she thinks about Tsunade's words.

_"Sasuke can take care of himself." _

Yes, he could, but Sakura likes seeing him, though she'll never admit it, and she has a feeling that the arrogant prick wouldn't be able to clean his own clothes, much less cook his own meals. And Sakura knows it's not her duty to do anything for him, after all, he's an ex-rogue criminal who tried to destroy Konoha once, and she owes him nothing, but her heart beats and says otherwise.

She doesn't fantasize of Sasuke holding her tight with his strong arms, she doesn't dream of him kissing her neck and collarbone, no, she has long given up on those delusions, and yet she doesn't know what she's doing for him.

She wishes it would lead to something just a bit more, but these are feelings she needs to push away again, as she opens the door to his house.

"Sasuke-kun! I'm back!" she calls out. She smells something herbaecous and yet plastic-ey, and her own stomach growls.

The pink-haired teen walks into the dining room, where she sees Naruto happily slurping up ramen, with Sasuke stirring around the ramen in his bowl dully. "Oh! Sakura-chan! You're back! As you can see, I made teme some ramen! Isn't it delicious?" grinned Naruto,

"If you're done here Naruto, you should go home. It's kinda late. And Sasuke needs to eat." sighed Sakura dryly, nonetheless glad to see the blond. "Oh, but I already made him dinner. And what are you doing here if it's so late?" asked Naruto, slurping the rest of his broth down.

"Get the fuck out, dobe." said Sasuke, still stirring around his noodles.

Naruto looked from Sasuke to Sakura, and a look of understanding and pride dawned on his face. "_Ohhh. _So _that's _what's going on here. Man, teme, you should have told me you were diggin' into Sakura-chan! So that's why she's here, so she can do the hoochie-coochie with-"   


He was promptly interrupted by Sasuke grabbing him by the collar and lifting him up a couple feet into the air. "Ooooh. Getting defensive, huh?" grinned Naruto, his smile almost literally reaching from the right side of his face to the left.

"I'm taking out the trash." growled Sasuke, a dark look on his face. "Okay. Dinner will ready in a few. Make sure to get rid of the ramen with it." smiled Sakura, adding salt to the meat.

"Note taken." snarled Sasuke, as Naruto began to make suggestive looks to Sasuke.

He dragged Naruto outside, and Sakura heard a, "Hey, not cool man! The ramen you just poured on me, I could've eaten-hey, ow!" before the slam of a door. "Dinner's ready!" chimed the pink haired teen, ladling some soup into a bowl of instant rice.

"Hn." grunted Sasuke, taking a seat.

They ate quietly, with Sakura furtively taking glances at him. "Why do you keep looking at me?" said Sasuke, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "It's nothing. I just, I-uh-"

"Are you seriously thinking about what the dobe said?"

Damn. He was a mind-reader.

"Yeah. I am." admitted Sakura, setting down her spoon.

"Don't worry. I wouldn't fuck you in a million years." said Sasuke, with a look of utter seriousness on his face.

Sakura's heart seemed to drop into her stomach, and just stared at her plate. Even for Sasuke, an arrogant prick, this was a bit bold and even rude, for him.

"That's, uh, nice. I guess..." Sakura began to reply. She glanced up halfway through her thought, and for a minute she thought she saw a hint of a smirk on Sasuke's face.

After about five seconds of staring at Sasuke's stony stare, Sakura's own lips began to curve into an incredulous smile as she yelled, "Uchiha, was that a smirk on your face?!"

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note: okay, i'm really bad at deciding what to write, because this was supposed to come out all angsty and like drama-ish, but it's kinda pathetic almost. AWW WELL, STILL HAVE FOUR CHAPTERS TO WRITE IN THE ANGST, HAHA.

anyway, i really love sasusaku, it's mah naruto otp.

thanks to mah beta, OmegaStarShooter14 for beta-ing!


	2. understand

note: ok i love all readers and all that, but seriously, i hate it when you do everything except review. like you favorite, alert this story, alert me as an author, follow this story, stuff like that...but you don't leave a review. honestly, you can just leave a freakin' sentence and i'd be happy.

anyway, rant over, onto reviewer replies.

Tiger Preistess: haha, thank you! it's my first sasusaku in years i think. yes, this angst will be fun to read. i will!

Sharky-Chan94: thank you! i will do my best.

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o2. understand

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They are in the living room when she asks for the first time. She is on her lunch break, eating her bento box, glancing at Sasuke every now and then. He is brooding quietly, a shadow in his eyes. There is a small curiousity biting at the back of her head, and it has to do with Naruto way back when at the meeting of the five Kages. A truth kept from her, about Sasuke, his clan, and Itachi.

And Sakura decides to pry.

"Sasuke-kun?"

He grunts a "hn", and she continues, "Could you tell me about...your clan and Itachi?"

The Uchiha immediately stiffens, as if prodded with a stick. "What do you wanna know? My brother...was a murderer and killed our clan off." he says, clenching his teeth. Sakura notices, and says, "Back at the Land of Iron, Naruto was gonna say something about Itachi and 'the whole story'...but Kakashi-sensei stopped him." Sakura has Sasuke's full attention now, a sharp glare boring into the back of her head.

She continues nervously, "A-and, I-um, thought about it myself, and I realized it didn't make a whole lot of sense for you to jump from killing your brother," Sasuke stiffens up again, "to wanting to kill all of Konoha and the elders of Konoha too."

There is a thin moment of silence.

"So I'm wondering...is there more to the story?" she asks, a hint of desperation in her voice.

Sasuke's onyx eyes bleed into crimson red, and before Sakura can get a word out of her mouth, she is in a world of blood and shadows. She is standing on a plane of glass, and Sasuke is in front of her.

"This is Tsukiyomi, Sakura. Do not bring up Itachi, the clan, or Konoha up again."

And then the glass breaks, and she falls, screaming in fear as she plummets faster and faster and-

Sakura gasps an eternity later, eyes blinking away tears. She tries to glare at Sasuke, but finds herself too weak to do anything, still gasping for air.

Sasuke looks away.

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Her curiosity does _not _disappear. In fact, it seems to have increased exponentially, but so has her anger. She didn't derserve being hurt like that, because she was his teammate, and she thinks that she has been hurt _enough _by him, and that this crosses a line. And now Sakura has now spent _nights _thinking about Sasuke and his secrets and his clan and Itachi and-

She is going to ask him again.

On one of her rare days off, Sakura pushes away her anger and convinces Sasuke to come out of his house and get some sunlight. "It'll be good for you, Sasuke-kun." she says, grabbing his wrist and pulling him outside. He quickly shakes her hand off, but continues to follow her. "I can't leave the compound yet. I have another 2 months of probation." he says, as Sakura begins to string him towards the gate. Sakura mentally slaps herself for forgetting that he's an ex-internationally wanted criminal who wanted to kill all of Konoha, and instead walks the other way.

Sakura says, "I knew that," in a futile attempt to convince him she's not as forgetful as she seems, but he makes something between a snort and a scoff, but continues walking with her.

It is a very nice day. While the rubble of the Uchiha compound around them is a little off-putting, Sakura tries to happy and cheerful around Sasuke, but with the question regarding the truth burning in her mind. But she tries to save that for later, as Sakura tries to focus on the birds chirping, the sunlight streaming down on them, the slight breeze, and the blue sky.

She looks at Sasuke. There's a strange expression on his face, something like nostalgia and wistfulness. And then all of her remaining anger melts away as Sakura suddenly realizes that she's brought him on another emotional rollercoaster he really doesn't need, letting him remember every person that lived in the Uchiha compound, all of them family, and then remembering the massive betrayal of his brother, and she suddenly says, "I shouldn't have brought you out here. This isn't good for you, I think-"

He cuts her off.

"I am fine. Just keep walking." he says, but Sakura hears something in his tone of voice that is slightly off, and she grabs his wrist again, and leads him over to a rather large piece of rubble. They sit together, and Sakura stares at him.

Sasuke is the same as from years ago, thought paler from the lack of sunlight. His eyes are still a cold onyx, his hair falling in front of his forehead as bangs. He breathes slowly, looking at the rubble of former Uchiha buildings. And Sakura decides that this would be a good time to ask him.

"Would you please just tell me...the truth?" she asks softly. Sasuke stiffens, and Sakura feels his chakra levels spike a little. She forces himself to meet his eyes. They are still onyx, and Sakura feels a little relieved. "As I told you before, it is none of your business." he says curtly, but Sakura wants to know, she wants to pry open his secrets, and bleed him dry of them. "It is. It is my business, because at first, we thought you would come back!" There is something beginning to burn inside of Sakura, like a hot ember in her stomach. "We thought that when you finished with Itachi, you'd come back, but suddenly, you wanted to kill us all! Every last one of us!"

Sasuke stares at her coldly, and she keeps on going. "So I'd like to know what it was that made you want to burn Konoha to the ground." There is a brief silence, before Sasuke speaks up again. "Again. It is none of your business."

Sakura is enraged. "Do _not _give me that bullshit! I am your teammate!" she hisses, standing up. "Naruto and Kakashi-sensei got to know, so why don't I? I deserve the tru-"

His eyes now bleeding crimson, he stands up and yells back, "What do you deserve?! Huh? You have no idea what you're asking for, you have not the slightest idea what Itachi gave up for you, you don't deserve _anything_!" He is shaking with anger, the tomoes in his eyes spinning furiously. Sakura forces herself to look into his eyes, and she responds quietly, "Then tell me."

There is a moment of silence. They stand there, looking at each other. Sasuke darts his eyes around, as if anyone would be watching them, save for the ANBU, and then back to her. "Fine." he says, grabbing her head and forcing it close to his. She nearly screams in shock, but then she sees his eyes transform into a Mangekyo, and she seems to be falling into something entirely new._  
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She looks around at her new surroundings.

A dark sky. A blood-filled battleground with the bodies of mere children scattered everywhere. Kunai and shuriken impaled upon soldier after soldier, the symbols of innumerable clans. This is something much worse than just a battle. This is war.

"What is this?" gasps Sakura, her stomach turning upon itself after spotting the body of a mutilated child. Sasuke steps out of seemingly nowhere, his face empty of expression.

"This is life before Konoha."

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She wakes up an eternity later.

They are still standing, and it is strange to see the sunlight stream down upon the ground. Sasuke doesn't move, he is almost a statue, staring holes into her forehead.

Sasuke asks quietly, "So now do you understand?"

The pink-haired teenager thinks.

After learning everything, after learning about Uchiha and Senju, after learning about Madara and the First, after learning about Itachi and his secret mission, after learning about everything, Sakura cannot come to an answer. She isn't sure what to think because after this sudden influx of information, her head is in a daze, and suddenly Sakura comes to the crushing realization that Sasuke is a stranger.

He is a stranger because she doesn't know anything about him, he is nothing but a crush that managed to last into her teenage years, but then there's that feeling at her chest, and Sakura just isn't sure of anything anymore. Her anger and curiousity is left with a dull empty feeling of _knowing _the truth and confusion about everything else. And there's guilt and sympathy in the mix too, and Sakura is a mess of emotions, all of them spilling out at the seams, because she is trying to understand someone abstract, and there's no way to even begin to _understand._

"It's...not in my..." she starts, looking down at the ground. "I'm not in a position to say whether I understand or not. I'm not in a position to judge you either." she grinds out, her mind putting words to her mouth. "I'm...sorry for asking. This is...was personal. And I don't think it was the greatest idea to tell, well, show me."

She looks up. Sasuke's Sharingan is gone, replaced with the cold onyx of his eyes. There is another weird expression on his face, and it's something like pity and almost like he cares a little, but Sakura knows better.

"Yeah." he says, turning around and walking back to the house. Sakura stays in the same spot for a while, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin, the gentle breeze in the air. She catches up to the brooding male with hands stuffed in his pockets, and she walks with him, and the mess of emotions is fading to a warm prickling in her chest, and that fades to a spreading warmth throughout her body.

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The days pass, and Sakura realizes that the love is coming back, the warmth in her chest, but she tries her best to not be in love with him because he is nothing but problems, nothing but brooding and angst and sorrow.

Yet there's something (or someone) that keeps telling her at the back of her head that she is the solution for every single one of his problems.

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note: jeez, louise, this took a long time.

and for such a short chapter too!

ughhhhh.

anyway, please leave a review, as that would be GREATLY appreciated, just tell me what you liked about it, etc. PLEASE. I'M DESPERATE FOR CRITIQUES AND SUCH.

also, expect the next update maybe one or two weeks from now? idk, i need to think and write on my own schedule.

thanks to my beta, OmegaStarShooter14~

see you guys around,

-truth


	3. winter kisses

note: wow i haven't updated this in forever.

btw this chapter is really, really weird. it's just segmented sasusaku parts at first that lead up to something else? i don't know. gosh, i wish i had a beta.

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The last days of fall are slipping through her fingers. She has practically moved into Sasuke's house now, sleeping there almost every night, cooking for him, cleaning for him, everything. There are times when she feels his stare boring holes through her body, only for her to turn around and find him gone.

But it's worth it, she tells herself, it's worth staying near him for almost nothing in return, it's worth being _close _to this Uchiha who has broken her heart so many times.

She steps outside, looking at the leaves fall onto the ground.

It's worth it, the feeling in her chest says.

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A long shift at the hospital has left her chakra levels low, and it's time to go back. It is cold outside, a foreboding sign of the approaching winter. She shivers under the moonlight, increasing her pace to the compound. It's almost two in the morning, and the one ANBU guard still stationed by his house is almost asleep too. Entering the house quietly, she tiptoes into his bedroom. He's fast asleep, a light snore coming from his body. She walks quietly to the window.

The sky is clear tonight, with the moon shining full and the stars shining brightly. The village is dark, with little lights coming from buildings with those still awake. Sakura opens the window a crack. A gentle breeze rolls in, with goosebumps prickling at her skin. Sasuke's chakra spikes. "Who's there?" he says, his voice cutting through the air. His chakra is intense and thick, nearly choking her. "Just m-me, Sasuke-kun." she struggles to say.

His chakra level immediately drops.

"Close it, Sakura." he grunts, still groggy from waking up. "Sorry." she replies, walking back to her own guest room. She plops down on her bed, looking up at the ceiling.

She's not quite sure why she's still hanging on to someone who will never, ever love her back the same way she does. Sakura doesn't owe him _anything, _but there's that warm, prickling sensation in her chest again, and she wants to stay close to him, stay near him and never leave his side.

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Winter comes quickly. Snow falls in thick piles up on the streets, and missions, work at the hospital, everything has temporarily been suspended due to the weather. "Where are you going?" she asks, as he puts on a jacket. "To melt the snow." he replies curtly, heading out the door. Sakura heads to the window to see.

As reckless and brash Sasuke can be, she doesn't expect to see him use his Amaterasu on the weather. She's about to reprimand him, before she sees the flames transform. He manipulates them into snakes and hawks, instantly melting the snow as they slide over the ground. It is an art and so much more. He directs the flames to sweep the ground of the compound, and steam rises from the ground in seconds. Amaterasu is dancing across the ground and through the air, and the show is over in minutes, as the last black flames disappear into nothing.

He enters the house again, brushing off snow on the doormat. "That was a waste of chakra." noted Sakura, her green eyes looking up at him.

"I'm not patient." He takes off his boots, heading up into his bedroom.

The slightest hint of a smile appears on Sakura's face.

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She wakes up cold. Sakura can see her breath in the air. Her fingers are white and so are her toes. The pink-haired teen looks up to see the moon, only to see the window covered by snow. Dressed in nothing but her nightdress, she walks quietly to Sasuke's room, shivering. The air is cold in there too, and Sasuke is shivering a little too. "Sasuke." she whispers, hugging her arms. He wakes up almost immediately and mutters, "What?"

"I'm cold."

There is a silence in the cold, night air as he stares at her with his onyx eyes. She is almost afraid he will tell her to return to her room, but he sighs and lifts up the blankets. "Get in." he says, turning the other way as soon as she settles into his bed. She closes her eyes, a blush spreading across her cheeks.

But nothing happens besides the blankets warming up and then she falls asleep, and it is warm and it is cozy.

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She wakes up, white light hitting her eyelids from the sunlight reflecting off the snow. She feels warm, and a little groggy before there's a sharp intake of breath as she notices two strong arms around her waist, other legs tangled with her own, and a steady, deep breath at the back of her neck. The warm, prickly feeling in her chest is hot and almost hurting and the blush is rushing back to her face. She turns to face him, and he wakes up almost immediately.

For the first time in forever, Sasuke almost looks a little embarrased. His cheeks are the lightest shade of red, so light that he could say it was from the cold air, and his eyes have something like sheepishness inside of them. He slides his arms back slowly, and she almost bites her lip at the loss of warmth. "Sorry." he apologizes, sitting up in the bed, wrinkling the sheets. She traces circles on the sheets, looking at him.

"I'll go make breakfast." she says, getting up. She goes back to her room, changes into warmer clothing and heads downstairs. She heats up leftover rice and miso soup, and heats up hot water for tea. He heads down minutes later.

The air is awkward and tense, and they eat quietly. "I'll clean up." she mutters, grabbing the plates and walking over to the sink. Sakura turns on the hot water, ignoring the holes that Sasuke is staring into her.

Eventually, she turns around and walks over to Sasuke. She's not sure what she's doing, but the hot feeling in her chest is guiding her, and there is almost something like shock as she grabs his shoulders and forces him to the ground. Sakura plants her lips on his, and she breathes in deep.

She closes her eyes tight, and when she opens them again, his eyes are staring back at hers, emotionless.

Sakura feels his hands on her hips, and she sits there, straddling him for a while. He continues to stare, but his hands are tugging at the hems of her shirt, brushing against her skin occasionally. She wants to stop waiting for him, to give in to what she _really wants, _but it would be wrong and unfair, but she desperately wants to brush those qualms away, and to just kiss him over and over again.

She doesn't.

"Sorry." she finally says, helping him up. Sasuke doesn't let go of her hand. He looks at her, something a little different in her stare. "I'm going out to melt the snow." he says, his fingers untying themselves from hers.

"Okay." she nods, heading back to the sink.

He walks away, and her heart almost breaks.

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note: wow that got really weird really fast.

please review, i have no idea what i'm doing hereeeee.

Tiger Priestess: especially if the guy is someone like sasuke, haha. thanks~

Guest1: lol, the slow pacing is kind of gone, but i think the themeeee is still hereeee.

Guest2: good suggestion, but this story is more for Sakura, haha.

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ugh i need a beta, someone please suggest for mehhhhh.

thanks,

-truth


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